My Cup of Glee
by Moyashi.beansprout
Summary: Finn tries to seduce Puck. Quinn and Rachel seem to be more than just enemies. And Santana and Brittany just screw around... literally.  Contains Puck/Finn, Santana/Brittany, and Faberry. Slash. Rated for swearing and themes.


I really try to love you  
It's just not my cup of  
glee~

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Gaarin: My first ever Glee fic! Warnings for PuckFinn, Faberry, SantBrit and MattMike (maybe MikeMatt, idk yet.) YAOI AND YURI (quite obviously.) Also a lot of swearing. So... yeah, enjoy!  
Mizuhara: WTF MATT AND MIKE REALLY? Everyone knows Matt and Mello is better :D  
Gaarin: Shut it, daughter. OH yeah, btw I got married yesterday C:  
Mizuhara: Glee does not belong to Gaarin. Neither does the song :

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Finn sat on the small bed in his room, furious at everyone. Furious at Puck for knocking up his girlfriend, whom he'd been almost completely devoted to. Furious at Quinn for sleeping with Puck- and who knows? Maybe more guys than Puck. But mostly furious with himself. _I should've known this was coming_, he thought angrily. _I mean, Puck's always been asking questions about how Quinn was doing, if she- if she slipped or something he would always be right there asking if she was okay- I mean, I was, too, but I was her boyfriend! I had to be there for her- I __was__ there for her, man!_

The dark-haired teenager clenched his hand into a fist and then punched his pillow. _This_ _is __**all **__Puck's_ _fault! Everything I ever wanted- he's had! Not only did he apparently have- have_ _sex with Quinn, my girl, but wasn't he going out with Rache for a while? _Finn paused, and then his face got angrier. _That's right- he did! FUCK! Fuck him! Fuck Puck! _If Finn hadn't been so angry at everyone-especially-Puck, then maybe he might have smiled at the rhyme.

_Everything I ever want- he magically gets! It's not frickin' fair! It's like Puck's determined to fuck up my life... And to make matters worse, I thought he was my best friend! I mean, regular people don't go around sleeping with their best friend's girl, right?_

Finn stopped punching his pillow, and put his fist under his chin. He got his "thinking" expression on his face, looking confused and flustered and pissed all at once.

_How can I destroy Puck? I need to find some way of getting to him, of stopping him from ever dating Rachel, or, like, anyone else I ever like again! But how the hell am I supposed to do that?_

Suddenly, a devious smile came to his face, and his eyes narrowed in an expression most often used by Santana. The answer was clear.

_To stop Puck from dating my girls forever..._

_I need to date Puck myself._

-glee-

Will took his trademark black pen, and wrote a word on the board, underlining it like usual. He turned around, and said to the assembled teens sitting before him, "Seducing."

Santana, Kurt, and Finn all sat up straight. Tina looked confused. Rachel rolled her eyes. Puck gave Finn's general direction a confused look.

"Seducing," repeated Will, capping the pen and placing it back on the whiteboard ledge. "Define it."

Kurt said eagerly, "Attempting to win the love or sexual favor of another person."

Santana said, smirking, "What I do by existing."

Brittany said innocently, "What detectives do to solve crimes."

Everyone gave Brittany a bizarre look.

Will said, "Seducing is, essentially, leading someone astray. Whether it's to have sex with them or to corrupt them, or to make them fall in love with you. The arts of seduction are subtle and yet obvious, dirty and yet beautiful. And seduction is often a large part of what we do here in Glee Club."

Everyone chortled.

Rachel stood up, clearly irritated. "I _believe_ that what Mr. Schuester is trying to tell us here is that seduction is often portrayed in music. Think of... oh! Nick Arnstein seducing Fanny Brice by singing to her and taking her out to dinner."

The club members all had blank looks on their faces except Kurt, who nodded slightly.

"Come on, guys... Fanny Brice? Okay, Funny Girl? Barbra Streisand?" Everyone still maintained that blank look.

"They're lost causes, Rachel," interrupted Kurt. "You can't musically educate people who probably only know Mamma Mia to mean something that Italians say."

Will shook his head, saying, "Okay, guys! Focus, please!"

Rachel pouted slightly, sitting down.

Will pushed a hand through his hair in exasperation. "All right, so as I was going to say, yes, seduction is often portrayed in music and musicals. That's why your Glee assignment this week is seduction!" Everyone laughed, and high-fived each other. The teacher tried to continue. "And remember, it doesn't necessarily have to be sexu-"

Puck laughed loudly. "I'm gonna rock this one so bad."

Santana smirked. "I'll help you with that if you want, _ba_by." They exchanged looks with each other.

Finn said loudly, "Um, Mr. Schue? I have a song that I want to do." _Oh yes, _he thought, _this is perfect. Thanks, God. Even if you wouldn't agree with what I'm doing._

Will turned to his main singer, sighing. "Yes, Finn?"

Finn stood up, catching his fellow members' attention. "I have one already prepared for this. May I?"

Will blinked. "Uhh, sure."

Finn smiled, and turned around. "Okay. Matt, Mike, Brittany, Santana, get up here. It's that song we practiced a while back."

They all looked clueless.

The tall teen grinned. "You know. _That_ song."

Matt and Mike both beamed in recognition, and went up to the front of the room. Santana and Brittany held hands, and paraded after them. Finn went over to the band members, and whispered something into their ears. He then went back to the front of the room, and smiled, beginning to sing in a deep voice.

"Shut up and sleep with me, come on, why don't you sleep with me? Shut up and sleep with me, come on, uh huh, and sleep with me." He continued to repeat that line while in the background, Matt and Mike danced provocatively and fast, with a great deal of touching and footwork and moving around. Santana and Brittany sung background flawlessly behind them.

Finn looked around the audience. Rachel and Artie were staring at him weirdly. Tina was laughing and singing along. Puck had a what-the-fuck look on his face, and Kurt was blushing happily, probably thinking the song was for him. Finn chanced a glance towards Quinn. Her arms were crossed tightly, and she was steaming. She was obviously pissed.

Finn shrugged, and continued to sing loudly, gently swaying. "Shut up and sleep with me, come on, uh-huh, and sleep with me." He glanced behind him, checking that Matt and Mike were still dancing, and was greeted by the sight of them making an _extremely_ sexual pose. Brittany and Santana were swaying on either side of him. He smiled, and went into the next part of the song.

"I love your body, not so much I like your mind. In fact you're boring- pretend not being of my kind. You keep on talking of some girl that I don't know, so when will you shut up and when will we go?"

Brittany and Santana stepped forward, and began singing to each other. "You were young, you're free, why don't you sleep with me?" They repeated it, and on the last word their voices went high as they leant in for a kiss and Matt and Mike did cartwheels behind them.

Right before their lips met, Finn stepped forward, blocking their way. He began to sing loudly. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." Behind him, the four teenagers made a different pose for every time he said the phrase. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up- up."

At this part, Finn began walking around the room. He sang as he walked past Quinn, "Don't you listen to those old conventions, don't try to suppress your real intentions." He walked between Kurt and Puck, and turned to the first one, singing "You're open minded, at least that's what you keep on sayin'." He turned to Puck. "Don't be afraid of doing what you're best at."  
Puck's cheeks reddened a little bit (or was that just Finn's imagination?) as he laughed and pushed Finn away. Finn went back to the front of the room, broke into the chorus again, and repeated it twice before ending the song.

Everyone cheered loudly. Finn turned around to his teacher, who had a minor nosebleed he was wiping away with tissues. "V-very good, Finn. However, that's not what I- You know what- Yeah, very good, Finn."

The bell rang, and Finn high-fived Matt, Mike, Santana, and Brittany.

"Thanks, guys," said the lanky teen, smiling. They all smiled back, and left with the rest of the club. Soon, just Rachel, Puck, and Finn were in the room. Rachel pretended to be packing up her stuff while Puck went over to Finn, an annoyed look on his face.

Finn looked at him. "What?"

The mohawked boy shrugged, looking away. "Nice job."

Surprised, Finn stopped, and then smiled hesitantly. "Uh, thanks. That's what seduction is, right?"

Puck opened his mouth, and then shut it. He quickly mumbled something Finn didn't catch.

"What?" repeated Finn.

There it was again- that tiny red blush that tinted the edge of Puck's upper cheeks ever so slightly. "So who were you singing to?" He asked the question non-chalantly, looking in all directions but Finn.

"What? Uh..." _You, dumbass._ "Um, I wasn't really singing to anybody..."

There was an awkward silence in the room. Rachel sidled towards the piano quietly and nobody noticed her.

Puck nodded a couple times, and said, "Okay, well, then see you at football today, man!" He patted Finn on the back, and hurriedly left the room.

"See you there!" called Finn after him. He felt a tap at his shoulder and turned around.

Rachel was standing there in all her Berry glory, smiling innocently. "Hey, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

The brunette sweetly tossed her hair over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes. "I was wondering if... well... Are you and Quinn still dating?"

Finn frowned at the mention of Quinn, and then grinned at the question. _So Rache's still got the hots for me... sweet._ "Uh, no."

Without missing a beat, Rachel asked, "Well, then, are Noah and Quinn still dating?"

"No!" said Finn irritatedly. He paused. "Wait... why do you ask-"

"_Ne_ver you mind, Finn! Anyway, I'd just like to say that you should definitely pursue Puck. Like, 100%. Okay?"

"What do you mean by _pursue_ Puck, Rache?"

Rachel tittered. "Finn, I'm not stupid. And it's a great idea for both of you and for me, all right?"

"Why would me- _pursuing_ Puck be good for you? I thought you liked..." Finn paused again. "Wait... Do you like..."

Rachel waved goodbye, and fled from the room with an ear-to-ear grin.

Finn scratched his head. "Rachel's a lesbian?"

He heard a soft voice from behind him say "What?" curiously. He whipped around to see Quinn standing there, evidently having just enetered the choir room.

Finn stopped still. "Nothing."

He walked out of the room, looking extremely confused. Had he turned around, he would have seen Quinn looking extremely excited for some reason as she picked up the bag she'd forgotten earlier.

~acapellalinebreak doo doo dah~

Puck dialed Santana's number on his phone while walking through the hallway. He heard a click, and then Santana's voice coming clearly through the earpiece. "Hello?"

"Hey, 'Tana. It's the Puckster. I need your help with something."

"What?" came the reply. "You didn't get another girl pregnant, did you?"

"No!" Puck paused. "I hope not. Anyway, it's about Finn. You saw him today, right?"

"Um, yeah. Of course. I didn't know the boy was so class- A gay."

Puck stopped walking, and then started walking faster. "Really? You think?"

He heard a snorting noise, presumably of laughter. "The boy's gayer than Hummel! Well, okay, nobody's gayer than Hummel. But at least Kurt's never sang 'Shut up and sleep with me' to you."

"To me?"

"Obviously. Man, Puckerman, you blind? Did you see him singing? When we practiced that number a couple weeks ago he told Matt and Mike to act like superfags and pretty much told me and Britt to be as romantic as possible. Here, I'll bring her in!"

Puck heard a series of beeping sounds and then Brittany's confused voice came over the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, hon." said Santana.

"'Sup, Brittany?" said Puck.

"Oh! Oh, hi! I was just skipping class with this guy... Uhh, what's your name?" The muffled reply of "Jacob" came back over the line.

Puck said, "Aww, seriously? Ben Israel? You're better than that, baby."

Brittany replied, "Thanks, Puck, but I was really bored, and he seemed like a nice guy. He told me he had a puppy at his house! I'm going after school!"

Santana's voice said loudly, "NO, you're NOT. You're coming over to my house tonight. Where we will have sex until you pass out. Okay?"

Brittany whined, "But the puppy-"

"NO. Anyway, Britt, did you notice anything weird about Finn today?"

There was a pause. "Uhh..." Brittany replied, "Well, how do you mean?"

Santana sighed with exasperation. "Like, was he singing to anyone in particular?"

Brittany replied with realization, "Oh! He was singing to you, Puck! I mean... wasn't he?"

Puck groaned. "Fuck, really?" _Like I needed one more thing to deal with right now_, he thought.

Santana and Brittany laughed in unison. "Yes, really," said Santana, "he's in lurrrve! Oh!" She stopped talking for a sec. "Honey, I can see you! _Stop_ making out with him! I'M COMING OVER THERE-" Santana's line cut off.

Brittany sighed disappointedly. "Aww. Bye Puck! Have fun exploring your bicurious tendons!"

Puck was about to correct her when her line cut off too, leaving Puck holding a disconnected phone to his ear. He looked down at the ground, and slid his cell shut.

"Fuck."

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Mizuhara: To be continued...  
Gaarin: If you liked it, be sure to vote for me on our profile page! ^^  
Mizuhara: If you didn't, vote for me :D  
Gaarin: Reviews are to me what sex is to life- an added bonus :D


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